ILLUMINATION FLAMES FOR THE CHILDREN OF GODHEALED BY FIRE

THE WARING MINDS

SELF ASSESSMENT AND PROGRESS

THE VOICE OF THE WOUNDS:

  • YOU’RE A JESUS FREAK
    • RESPONSE:  BEGAN SPEAKING ABOUT JESUS IN DEFENSE USING SCRIPTURES TO OUTWARDLY TAKE UP FOR MYSELF
    • TRIAL:  KEEP MY FAITH TO MYSELF & GIVE THE PERSECUTION TO GOD.  HE SAYS I WILL RECEIVE THE KINGDOM FROM THIS / KUNDALINI JOY DID START / LET GOD FINISH THE PROCESS WITHIN ME
  • NO MAN WILL LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU LET YOURSELF GO
    • RESPONSE:  WENT ON WORKOUT CRAZE AND STARTED EXERTING MY SEXUALITY AND PHYSICAL BODY CHANGES
    • TRIAL:  KEEP MY WORKOUT AND LOVE FOR MY BODY AND WORKING OUT TO MYSELF.  I CAN WORK TO PERFECT MYSELF AS I SEE NEEDED AND AS I FEEL GOOD.  MY ROUTINES ARE NO ONES BUSINESS.
  • YOU’RE A DISGRACE FOR TAKING PICS IN A SWIMSUIT AND POSTING THEM / NON-CHRISTIAN & NON PROFESSIONAL
    • RESPONSE:  STARTED MAKING PICS & VIDEOS WITH PARTNER TO INTERNALLY BATTLE FOR FREEDOM TO BE WHO I WANT TO BE AND NOT FEEL HELD DOWN BY MY MOTHER’S RULES
    • TRIAL:  KEEP ALL PHOTOS OF ME TO MYSELF / THERE’S NO NEED TO SHOW ANYONE ANYTHING.  IF I WANT TO POST FOR CAUSE OR MISSION OF SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO MY HEART THAT WILL BE ESTABLISHED IN A FULLNESS OF JOY WITHOUT FEELING THE NEED TO BOAST OF DEFEND MYSELF
  • YOU RUINED YOUR LIFE WITH THE WRONG MEN
    • RESPONSE:  I MADE DECISIONS PARTIALLY BASED ON SPITE TO SHOW I CAN LOVE WHO I WANT AND ITS NONE OF MY MOMS BUSINESS
    • TRIAL:  KEEP MY LOVE LIFE COMPLETELY TO MYSELF (NO ONES BUSINESS) AND ASSESS WHAT IS BEST FOR ME AND MY NEEDS WANTS AND GOALS.
  • YOURE A WITCH MAKING WITCH CANDLES
    • RESPONSE:  I MADE A TON AND EXPLOITED THEM TO PROVE THOSE PEOPLE ARE WRONG AND WIN THE SUPPORT OF OTHERS ON THIS VENTURE
    • TRIAL: THE CANDLES WERE BETWEEN ME AND GOD AND I GIFTED THEM IN GOOD CONSCIOUS.  IF I WANT TO MAKE CANDLES FOR GIFTING OR FOR SALE MAKE SURE ITS SOMETHING I FEEL GOOD ABOUT WITH NO DESIRE TO SPEAK TO THE VOICES OF THE PAST OR SHOW OFF.  IS IT IN ALIGNMENT WITH WHAT BRINGS ME JOY TODAY?
  • YOU ABANDONED YOUR SON
    • RESPONSE:  DEFENSE, ANGER, FIGHTING AND TRYING TO DO THINGS TO MAKE IT SEEM I AM THE BETTER PARENT
    • TRIAL:  TELL HIM I LOVE HIM.  CALL.  BE THERE.  DON’T SPEAK BAD ABOUT HIS DAD, DON’T ARGUE AND DON’T TRY TO CONTROL ANY OF IT.  BE CONSISTENT IN JUST SHOWING LOVE AND BE HONEST IN WHAT YOU CAN’T DO – DO NOT BE MANIPULATED INTO GUILT OVER LACK OF FINANCES OR LIVING SITUATION.

THE VOICE OF GOD’S LOVE:

  • I LOVE YOU
    • TODAY AS MUCH AS THE FIRST DAY I WAS BORN.  HE SEES ME AND KNOWS WHAT HAS HAPPENED, ALL THE LIES AND ATTACKS AND HE PROMISES THERE IS AN ETERNAL GLORY THAT I WILL RECEIVE FOR ENDURING THE PAIN AND NOT LASHING BACK TO HURT ANY OF THEM
  • I WILL FIGHT FOR YOU
    • TRUST GOD TO MAKE RIGHT ALL THE WRONGS WITHOUT MY DOING A THING.  VENGEANCE BELONGS TO GOD AND HE WILL MAKE ALL THINGS RIGHT BETTER THAN I EVER COULD IN HIS PERFECT TIMING
  • THIS IS NOT MY WILL FOR YOU TO SUFFER
    • GOD WANTS ME TO BE FREE FROM THE WORDS THAT HAVE HURT ME AND RECOGNIZE ALL OF IT AS LIES THAT DO NOT FLOW FROM HEAVEN.  NO ONE CAN SPEAK FOR GOD.  NO ONE WHOS EVER SAID A CONDEMNING THING TO ME HAS EVER SPOKE FROM THE LORD.  GOD WANTS ME TO REBUKE THE WORDS OF ALL THAT IS MADE IN ATTEMPT TO HURT ME OR MAKE ME FEEL BAD.  THOSE ARE SATANIC ATTACKS NOT FROM THE THRONE OF GOD’S LOVE.
  • REJECTION IS NOT FROM ME.
    • IF SOMEONE DOESN’T ACCEPT YOU, DUST OFF THE DUST AND WALK AWAY FROM THEM.  HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH REJECTION AS IT’S NOT OF ME.
  • STRIFE IS NOT YOUR PORTION
    • IF SOMEONE WANTS TO DEBATE OR ARGUE, DISENGAGE AND LET THEM KNOW YOU RESPECTFULLY WILL NOT TAKE PART IN THE DEBATE AS GOD DOESN’T WISH FOR YOU TO HAVE TO FIGHT DEFEND OR EXPLAIN YOURSELF OR YOUR POSITION
  • DO ALL THINGS UNTO THE LORD (NOT PEOPLE’S OPINIONS}
    • YOU DON’T OWE ANYONE AN EXPLANATION NOR IS IT YOUR PLACE TO EXPLAIN YOUR ACTIONS OR WORDS.  TAKE EVERYTHING TO THE LORD FOR GUIDANCE AND UNDERSTANDING THEN MOVE ACCORDING TO GOD’S DIRECTION WITHOUT SPEAKING A WORD – ITS UNNEEDED AND NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION
  • WAIT FOR THE LORD
    • WHEN YOU PRAY AND ASK WAIT TO RECEIVE BEFORE MOVING.  I HAVE BEEN PRAYING FOR A HOME AND A NEW JOB OR DIRECTION IN MY CAREER TO HAVE MORE MONEY AND STABILITY.  I MUST NOT GET A PLACE OR ACCEPT A NEW JOB UNTIL GOD SHOWS ME THE PERFECT PATH FORWARD.  BE PATIENT BECAUSE HE IS DOING IT IN THE PERFECT WAY AND PERFECT TIME

PRAYERS AND PATHWAYS

SEEKIING GODS DIRECTION AND PROMISED LAND

CURRENT PRAYERS

FAMILY

  • JOSH TO GET JOB AND NEW BEGINNING
  • KENNA TO GET NEW JOB & LIVING SITUATION (FA JOB IF ITS GOD’S WILL WOULD BE SO GREAT
  • THEIR DAD TO GET A JOB AND HAVE A NEW SEASON OF HEALING
  • MY DOG TO BE CARED FOR AND FOR ME TO GET HIM BACK ONE DAY IF ITS GOD’S WILL…. I MISS HIM

HOME

  • A STABLE AND COMFORTABLE NEW PLACE TO LIVE WHERE IM NOT UNDER CONSTANT ANXIETY & FEEL I CAN RELAX
  • A PLACE AFFORDABLE THAT DOESN’T STRETCH ME FINANCIALLY
  • A PLACE THAT’S SAFE AND WHERE I FEEL COMPELLED TO GO OUTSIDE AND ENJOY NATURE AND RUN AND PLAY
  • A PLACE WHERE I CAN DECORATE AND MAKE CANDLES OR LIGHTS OR WHATEVER MAKES ME FEEL COZY
  • A PLACE THAT WILL WORK PERFECTLY WITH WHATEVER BUSINESS, JOB OR CAREER MOVES THAT GOD IS BRINGING IN FOR ME

CAREER

  • A CAREER THAT FEELS LIKE BREATHING – WHERE IM SO EXCITED TO WAKE UP EACH MORNING AND GET TO MY THING
  • A CAREER THAT IS FINANCIALLY REWARDING AND I NEVER HAVE TO STRUGGLE OR FEEL IN LACK AGAIN
  • A CAREER THAT I CAN GROW IN AND KEEP BUILDING IN AS I WORK HARD AND PUT IN THE EFFORT GOD STRENGTHENS ME TO SEE AND PURSUE
  • A CAREER THAT INSPIRES ME WHERE I FEEL I’M DOING SOMETHING MEANINGFUL AND FOR THE GOOD OF GOD’S JOY AND FULLNESS HE MADE ME TO EXPERIENCE

HEALTH

  • I WANT TO BE HEALED EVEN GREATER THAN EVER BEFORE WHERE I HAVE PEACE IN MY HEART AND IN MY MIND AND ENERGY
  • I WANT TO FEEL FREE TO WORK OUT BUT OUT OF JOY AND CHILDLIKE WONDER IN THE BEAUTY OF EACH DAY
  • I WANT TO BE MADE A NEW CREATURE MORE VIBRANT AND BEAUTIFUL THAN EVER BEFORE
  • I WANT TO HAVE NO MORE ANXIETY AND FOR ALL THE STRESS TO BE REPLACED WITH EXCITEMENT AND JOY FOR EACH MOMENT I AM ALIVE.

Asking for Much

God I thank you for the motivation to make this page today and to have a place where I can visit each day and see my prayers and your glory. I want to be more mindful of your miracles you're doing in my life and also of what prayers you answer…

GOD MAKES ALL THINGS NEW

CHRIST IS THE AUTHOR & FINISHER OF MY FAITH & MY STORY

And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write; These things saith he that is holy, he that is true, he that hath the key of David, he that openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth;  I know thy works: behold, I have set before thee an open door, and no man can shut it: for thou hast a little strength, and hast kept my word, and hast not denied my name.  Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved thee.  Because thou hast kept the word of my patience, I also will keep thee from the hour of temptation, which shall come upon all the world, to try them that dwell upon the earth. 11 Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. 12 Him that overcometh will I make a pillar in the temple of my God, and he shall go no more out: and I will write upon him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, which is new Jerusalem, which cometh down out of heaven from my God: and I will write upon him my new name.

13 He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.

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DEDICATIONS & DEEP GRATITUDE

BECAUSE OF YOUR LOVE I AM STILL WRITING…

Roger, I’ll never forget what you and your wife did for me.  The scripture that hope is one day preached as top of mind in the so-called “churches” in this country is James 1:26-1:27.  It tells us that our RELIGIONS are defiled and impure to God the Father in Heaven – except these 2 things, “To care for the fatherless & the widows in their times of need and took oneself unspotted from the world.  You were the answer to many prayers as I was persecuted, despised, accused and essentially left for dead in my weakest moments.  When the great freeze hit Houston, my daughter and I had nowhere to go.  You drove in unthinkable weather to fix our frozen pipes, get our heat back on and water running again.  A year later, you sent an unexpected check on Christmas.  You didn’t know that I couldn’t pay my rent for December.  I didn’t tell anyone the predicament I was in – only God knew in my prayers laced with lakes of tears.  Few listen to the small voice within and I know that you were sent on assignment by the angels.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart of hearing the call and saying “yes” to loving me when no one else did.

They say it takes one to know one.  Maybe us widows have a certain energy about us – a type of heartbreak that is seen in the connection through the windows of the soul.  I don’t celebrate pain but I do know what it’s accomplished in me – a type of deep compassion and love for others who walk through the valleys in their own trials and tribulations that have passed.  You were my only friend in a strange place, far away from anything I recognized – as the world was shut down and I lived inside of constant agony of hidden hurt linked to all I’d lost and the suffering I watched in my own children.  You don’t have kids but you did lose the love of your life in recent tragedy.  She too was a writer of a mysterious novel – her signature to a world she would soon leave.  I would imagine she’s looking down smiling at you; so proud of the beautiful heart you have for the little ones and the aid you gave to me and my daughter – strangers on a journey crossing your path.  I hang the angel from Val on my lamp stand in my apartment today and keep it close to my heart with the words written on her star, “You are Enough.”  I believe Val gave that to you to give it to me and I’m so grateful that the angels use all things to keep the Love of God in our midst, even when we can’t always see it.

Our season may not be over, but in a few short weeks you have gifted me the type of love that is rarely found in the days we occupy.  It’s the simple things sometimes – truth, validation & an ear that’s willing to listen without judgement.  You welcomed me in your office with a knowing that our appointment was divine.  In a way, perhaps we both knew that our lives were about to shift greatly into a new chapter.  I’ve seen it coming for most of my life, but to speak of such is tied to the greatest wounds and fear I’ve carried through many journeys and mountains climbed.  I used to think I was scared of nothing; a side-effect of overcoming death.  But I was scared of everything – namely being me.  You gave me the courage to travel back to the darkest depths of my own shadows; into the Valley of Death itself where sorrow was my only friend.  And in that place, I found the courage to look up and seek the light that is always there – guiding all of us if we dare to open our hearts and ask for directions.  These recordings and the remnants of my lost book that are coming back as little puzzle pieces in the here and now would not exist if it weren’t for God sending you in my path.  I know this is ONLY THE BEGINNING of this journey but the foundation needed to be spoken.  And it has.  You’re truly an angel on assignment and I hope you know this about your identity now and always.  From one orphan to another; May the true Light *the rainbow children* remember who they are and who’s they are – the Children of God; the one true Father of Lights.

You are the future; the ones who will light the way for a world without hatred, war, greed, racism, separation & a species controlled and ruled by fear.  My prayer is that I can be a good steward of what God has gifted me – to love you, understand you and help you stay unspotted from the ways of the old world.

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